I guess you could call it that. Sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself and being mopey. I feel like a small child throwing a fit. I didn't get my way so I will just stop functioning like a normal person for a while.
Why is it that is my emotional reaction? Who wants to wallow? What does it accomplish? Yet, I wallow.
Did you ever put your hopes on something, I mean really hedge your bets and then see it crumble to dust in your fingers...
I can't help but stare at the dust and wonder if enough glue would make it fix it... make it all better.
Instead of making the logical decision to move on. Find a new plan. Learn to not hedge your bets. If you have figured it out please tell me for I would love to know all the answers. What peace of mind to just know.
I don't know what the fix is but I know that wallowing isn't so after I allow myself a few more moments of self pity I will pick myself up force myself to take a walk and then sit down and make a new plan. Maybe have some juice! (who knows it might be the fix ;P).
All the same if you are with me in a small puddle of wallow remember that sitting in it doesn't make the puddle go away... but a hair dryer might.
Why is it that is my emotional reaction? Who wants to wallow? What does it accomplish? Yet, I wallow.
Did you ever put your hopes on something, I mean really hedge your bets and then see it crumble to dust in your fingers...
I can't help but stare at the dust and wonder if enough glue would make it fix it... make it all better.
Instead of making the logical decision to move on. Find a new plan. Learn to not hedge your bets. If you have figured it out please tell me for I would love to know all the answers. What peace of mind to just know.
I don't know what the fix is but I know that wallowing isn't so after I allow myself a few more moments of self pity I will pick myself up force myself to take a walk and then sit down and make a new plan. Maybe have some juice! (who knows it might be the fix ;P).
All the same if you are with me in a small puddle of wallow remember that sitting in it doesn't make the puddle go away... but a hair dryer might.
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I try not to get too down when I am disappointed. Although I think I may be a bit less than normal (for the past couple of years) when I found out I couldn't have anymore babies. That sort of sucked the life out of me.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. That has got to be hard news to hear. The "Chris" in me wants to say something super "The sun will come out" Annie style but instead I will simply say this:
DeleteLife isn't easy, it is part of what is great about it. Sadness is a part of life, if we didn't get hurt and have disappointments I'm not sure our good days would be as good...
Okay that's as "sunshine on uppers" as I get.
Oh, I'm right there with ya in the puddle of wallow right now. I've done something to my knee, on crutches and having a pity party because I can't get out to get photos. For me, instead of juice I think I would like some chocolate!! Hope you feel better!!
ReplyDeleteI hope your knee heals quickly! Knees are like eyes to me... you just don't want to mess with them. Well we can sing a pity party song for each other just long enough to have some self loathing and then move on... I have an egg timer set to get me moving from my wallow pit on a deadline
DeleteCaitlyn Johnstone:
ReplyDeleteOh, Rachel. You need to go to this site and read "Adventures in Depression." I was wallowing hard core the first time I read it and I laughed and laughed.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/
Thanks for the heads up Caitlyn, headed there now!
DeleteI miss your lovely face... is it sad I can say that when I only ever got to see it in person once? All the same you are an awesome girl and I'm jealous of those who get time with you regularly! ;P
It's okay to feel that way and get it out of your system. Then you can pull your thoughts together & form a new plan.
ReplyDeleteThanks Gina, doing that now. Getting out and exercising always helps
DeleteIt's ok to have a wallow! We all do it if we are human. banana splits might be better than juice... then you can get on with it. I love my journal for wallowing. After I write out all of my feelings, seems like they melt away. Blessings from Texas!
ReplyDeleteI do love a good journal wallow... it is a great way to unload it on someone who won't have to walk away with the world on their back... and better yet they don't try to fix your problems, I just want to mourn sometimes
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ReplyDeleteI'm glad you enjoyed my snotty rags... I will say they are pretty fantastic ;P
DeleteDon't have a solution...if I could I'd give you a great big hug.
ReplyDeleteI say yes to that proposition ;P
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