Thursday, March 1, 2012

Wallowing

I guess you could call it that.  Sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself and being mopey.  I feel like a small child throwing a fit.  I didn't get my way so I will just stop functioning like a normal person for a while.

Why is it that is my emotional reaction?  Who wants to wallow?  What does it accomplish?  Yet, I wallow.

Did you ever put your hopes on something, I mean really hedge your bets and then see it crumble to dust in your fingers...



I can't help but stare at the dust and wonder if enough glue would make it fix it... make it all better.

Instead of making the logical decision to move on.  Find a new plan.  Learn to not hedge your bets.  If you have figured it out please tell me for I would love to know all the answers.  What peace of mind to just know.

I don't know what the fix is but I know that wallowing isn't so after I allow myself a few more moments of self pity I will pick myself up force myself to take a walk and then sit down and make a new plan.  Maybe have some juice!  (who knows it might be the fix ;P).

All the same if you are with me in a small puddle of wallow remember that sitting in it doesn't make the puddle go away... but a hair dryer might.




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14 comments:

  1. I try not to get too down when I am disappointed. Although I think I may be a bit less than normal (for the past couple of years) when I found out I couldn't have anymore babies. That sort of sucked the life out of me.

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    1. I'm sorry. That has got to be hard news to hear. The "Chris" in me wants to say something super "The sun will come out" Annie style but instead I will simply say this:

      Life isn't easy, it is part of what is great about it. Sadness is a part of life, if we didn't get hurt and have disappointments I'm not sure our good days would be as good...

      Okay that's as "sunshine on uppers" as I get.

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  2. Oh, I'm right there with ya in the puddle of wallow right now. I've done something to my knee, on crutches and having a pity party because I can't get out to get photos. For me, instead of juice I think I would like some chocolate!! Hope you feel better!!

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    1. I hope your knee heals quickly! Knees are like eyes to me... you just don't want to mess with them. Well we can sing a pity party song for each other just long enough to have some self loathing and then move on... I have an egg timer set to get me moving from my wallow pit on a deadline

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  3. Caitlyn Johnstone:

    Oh, Rachel. You need to go to this site and read "Adventures in Depression." I was wallowing hard core the first time I read it and I laughed and laughed.
    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thanks for the heads up Caitlyn, headed there now!

      I miss your lovely face... is it sad I can say that when I only ever got to see it in person once? All the same you are an awesome girl and I'm jealous of those who get time with you regularly! ;P

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  4. It's okay to feel that way and get it out of your system. Then you can pull your thoughts together & form a new plan.

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    1. Thanks Gina, doing that now. Getting out and exercising always helps

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  5. It's ok to have a wallow! We all do it if we are human. banana splits might be better than juice... then you can get on with it. I love my journal for wallowing. After I write out all of my feelings, seems like they melt away. Blessings from Texas!

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    1. I do love a good journal wallow... it is a great way to unload it on someone who won't have to walk away with the world on their back... and better yet they don't try to fix your problems, I just want to mourn sometimes

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    1. I'm glad you enjoyed my snotty rags... I will say they are pretty fantastic ;P

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  7. Don't have a solution...if I could I'd give you a great big hug.

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